I knew Henry Louis Gates was a total dork 10 years ago.

Back then, while attending college as part of my second midlife crisis, in the English composition and critical thinking class, we were to read certain essays (including one by Gates) and then answer some questions. Here is what I wrote in February of 1999 for this assignment:

          According to Henry Louis Gates, Jr., multiculturalism is thought to be “a pretty name for ethnic chauvinism” and “the mindless celebration of difference.” He then declares the debate “miscast from the beginning,” stating “I don’t think that is what multiculturalism . . . ought to be.” Substituting a definition of his own, “ . . . truly humane learning, unblinkered by . . . narrow ethnocentrism,” he gives examples to support multiculturalism as he defines it, using “cultural pluralism” synonymously. Writings that oppose his view he dismisses as “jeremiad.” (My dictionary defines this to mean “mournful and lamenting.”)

         Gates would have served his readers better if he had made it clearer throughout that the “multiculturalism” he supports is not what most people, by his admission, think of when they hear that word. In the third paragraph he more or less wishes away the commonly held definition of the term and substitutes his own. He then argues in favor of his version of “multiculturalism,” neglecting to mention that opponents of multiculturalism do not in fact oppose that which he supports. I find such sophistry highly annoying. When commentators can only make their point by knocking down a “straw dog,” I can only conclude that their argument lacks substance. Who but the most rabid Eurocentrist could argue against “multiculturalism” as Gates defines it? Recent news events have clearly shown that attempting to re-define words to suit one’s own wishes brings only ridicule and loss of credibility.

         We could give Gates the benefit of the doubt and applaud his attempt to reclaim the word and assign to it the meaning he thinks it should have. However, for maximum impact, one must speak the language of one’s audience. Gates would be much more credible if he had found a new way to describe his vision of “truly humane learning” without using a word that has come to mean something entirely different in popular usage.

Unfortunately I no longer have the source citation for the essay by Gates that I quoted above.

Trains, Planes, And Shuttle Vans

As I write this, I have been stranded in Phoenix since last night, due to freaky storms. What is it with airline pilots, anyway, that they don't want to land their planes sideways in the thick of the lightning, cross-winds, monsoons and dust devils? Huh? What's up with that?

Hopefully I will get out of here and get home tonight. I actually have confirmed seats--but then again, I had confirmed seats last night too, and a whole lot of good THAT did me. Had to spend last night in a hotel; it was either that or try to sack out in the airport, and last time I did that, I was MUCH younger.... And because it was a weather problem, and thus not the airline's fault, they did not issue free room (or free meal) vouchers. Oh well. I was the bottom of the standby heap this morning, and did not get on that flight, although my suitcase did. So my suitcase will be back in the ol' home town before me. At least I won't have to wait for baggage claim... but I may have to wait for the lone gate agent to appear from wherever they hide between flights to get my suitcase out of the lock-up.

No, I am not sitting in the swanky "club" lounge with the free coffee. I had a free pass for the outbound flight 11 days ago, when I had a 3-hour layover, but this trip, customer service assured me they are not able to issue complementary club passes, and I am not paying 40 bucks for a day pass. 40 bucks does not a free cup of coffee make....

Meanwhile, I have just a couple of photos from the adventure at the National Zoo. No those are not stuffed animals, despite their appearance.

Yeah, Yeah, Still Alive

More or less, anyway.

There will be pictures later, I promise... but as I write this, I am in the Amtrak departure lounge in Washington, D.C., just leaving the national writers' conference behind for another year.

This morning we went to the national zoo and the giant pandas were out for a terrific photo op. Took LOTS of pictures--but the camera and its card are buried deep in my backpack now, and I am not digging them out again, so you'll have to wait for the pictures. Don't be holding your breath either; I won't be home until Monday night, because we're riding the train from D.C. to Chicago, arriving tomorrow morning, then to Milwaukee, and I fly home from Milwaukee tomorrow evening.

Last Tuesday we did all three branches of government in one day; the White House at 7:30 a.m. (we didn't see very much of it, and the East Room is MUCH smaller than I thought), then we switched hotels, then we went to the Capitol (with a brief stop at the Library of Congress while we waited for our Capitol appointment) and lastly, the Supreme Court, where we had lunch in the basement cafeteria. We ate at the Supreme Court. Go figure.

We also managed visits to the Washington Monument, the World War II and Vietnam memorials, the Lincoln Memorial, Arlington National Cemetery (where we were fortunate enough to witness a changing of the guard ceremony), and the Air and Space Museum.

Yes, our feet hurt. Thank you for asking.

Oh, and somewhere in the midst of all that, we attended the annual national writers' conference.

Boomer Radio

If you aren't listening, why not??

For my fellow old farts, I have been compiling a partial list of artists who appear on the Vintage Rock channel. Look interesting? Then for heaven's sakes, TUNE IN!

Al Kooper
Al Stewart
Alice Cooper
Allman Brothers Band
American Dream
Animals
Argent
Arlo Guthrie
Beatles
Big Brother & The Holding Company
Blind Faith
Blood, Sweat & Tears
Blue Cheer
Blues Magoos
Blues Project
Boz Scaggs
Brian Auger & The Trinity
Bruce Springsteen
Bubble Puppy
Buddy Miles
Buffalo Springfield
Byrds
Canned Heat
Cat Stevens
Chambers Brothers
Chicago
Circus Maximus
Colin Blunstone
Colosseum
Compost
Country Joe and The Fish
Crazy World Of Arthur Brown
Cream
Creedence Clearwater Revival
Crosby, Stills, Nash
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
Cryan Shames
Danny O'Keefe
Dave Mason
David Allan & The Arrows
David Crosby
Deep Purple
Delaney and Bonnie & Friends
Derek & The Dominoes
Donovan
Doors
Dr. John, The Night Tripper
Eagles
Earth Opera
Edgar Winter Group
Edison Electric Band
Electric Flag
Electric Prunes
Elton John
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
Eric Clapton
Everything is Everything
Fairport Convention
Fever Tree
Fleetwood Mac
Flying Burrito Brothers
Focus
Frank Zappa
Free
Frijid Pink
George Harrison
Graham Nash
Grand Funk Railroad
Grass Roots
Grateful Dead
Greg Allman
Harry Nilsson
Hollies
Hookfoot
Hot Tuna
Ides Of March
Iron Butterfly
It's A Beautiful Day
Jack Bruce
Jackie Lomax
James Gang
Janis Joplin
Jeff Beck
Jefferson Airplane
Jesse Winchester
Jethro Tull
Jimi Hendrix
Jimmie Spheeris
Jo Jo Gunne
Joan Baez
Joe Cocker
John Lennon
John Mayall
John Renbourn
John Sebastian
Joni Mitchell
Judy Collins
Julie Driscoll And Brian Auger & The Trinity
KAK
King Crimson
Kinks
Laura Nyro
Led Zeppelin
Lee Michaels
Leon Russell
Leonard Cohen
Lighthouse
Lindisfarne
Lou Reed
Love
Lovin' Spoonful
Lynyrd Skynyrd
Mark-Almond
Max Frost & The Troopers
MC5
Melanie
Mike Bloomfield, Al Kooper & Stephen Stills
Moby Grape
Moody Blues
Mothers Of Invention
Mott The Hoople
Nazz
Neil Young
New Riders Of The Purple Sage
Norman Greenbaum
Orpheus
Paul Butterfield Blues Band
Pentangle
People
Phil Ochs
Pink Floyd
Poco
Procol Harum
Queen
Quicksilver Messenger Service
Redbone
Rhinoceros
Richie Havens
Rolling Stones
Santana
Savoy Brown
Seatrain
Simon & Garfunkel
Sly & The Family Stone
Small Faces
Smith
Spencer Davis Group
Spirit
Spooky Tooth
Status Quo
Stephen Stills
Steppenwolf
Steve Miller Band
Strawbs
T. Rex
Taj Mahal
Teegarden & Van Winkle
Ten Wheel Drive
Ten Years After
The Band
Them
Thunderclap Newman
Tim Hardin
Tom Rush
Traffic
Van Morrison
Vanilla Fudge
Who, The
Yardbirds
Yes
Youngbloods
Zombies
ZZ Top

As If I Needed Yet Another Excuse.

Daily Dose of Caffeine May Cure Alzheimer's, Scientists Find

I am still not sure how they define a "cup," though. Since my favorite coffee mug is about the size of a large bucket, I have always had to make adjustments when I hear about how many "cups" of coffee per day will do this or that.

Excuse me. I have to go pour another dose of anti-brain-rot medicine now.

(Hat tip: Sarahk, via Twitter)

Never Again.

Remember the incident where my credit card number was compromised, and I started receiving all kinds of interesting "products" in the mail?

In spite of the comic relief and blog-fodder achieved through that incident, it's been one big headache, because despite multiple promises and assurances, the credit card issuer, as of yesterday, had STILL not actually closed my account (I was assured it was closed back on November 11, 2008) and even allowed more fraudulent charges to get through after the card had been canceled. Then they charged an annual fee on the dead credit card, and started slapping me with late fees and finance charges. Apparently my closed account even went to collection.

After yet another a lengthy time on the phone yesterday (they should be paying me for my time, methinks) I am assured once again that the account has been closed and all charges have been reversed. I will believe that when I see it. (Hint: I am not holding my breath.)

At the end of the call, I informed the very nice phone representative that while of course I did not hold her personally responsible for the mess, she needed to pass the word upstairs that I would never, EVER do business with their company again. She was sorry to hear it--but said she completely understood where I was coming from.

Oh, you want to hear who messed up so badly? Well, I won't mention their name directly, but their initials are B of A....

The Baby

Not quite the baby she was when I got her, though....

Here's a view you don't see too often. Observe the adorable belly-markings, and the "fingers." Just to the right of the "fingers" you can see a couple of her back toes wrapped around the branch.



She was in predator mode, ready to leap for the front of the cage and eat whatever she saw moving. Unfortunately for her, what she saw moving was just my shadow. No live prey for the baby. She had to make do with gecko-goo. How boring.

(That's Firefly, for those who are keeping score.)

In Celebration Of The Holiday...

... as only the Muppets can do it.



(Hat tip: Samantha.)

Don't Try This At Home.

Do not mix decolorized iodine with hydrogen peroxide. You will be sorry. Guaranteed.

Saw an item in the paper about using white or decolorized iodine on the nails to strengthen them. Actually managed to find the stuff at the local specialty pharmacy, and started using it.

Unfortunately, I had not seen this item before I used hydrogen peroxide on something else today, and now my right thumbnail looks just like I soaked it in Betadine. Yuck.

I wonder how long it'll take to wear off....

Difficult Week.

Especially if one is a celebrity.

But I first want to acknowledge that it's a very difficult week also for a friend and colleague of mine. She lost her husband a week ago after a relatively short illness. Thoughts and prayers to B. and her family.

At the risk of committing sacrilege, I never was a Michael Jackson fan. His voice and style just didn't do it for me, and some of his life choices were problematic, to say the least. But there's no denying he was a huge figure in American pop culture, such that even as serious an outfit as the Fox News Channel went wall-to-wall with their coverage.

Moving right along... I was one of the countless young women with a Farrah hairdo back in the late 70s. I gave it up fairly quickly, because it was far too high-maintenance for my taste, and heaven help me if I got caught in a rainstorm.... On another note, a few years ago I actually met the Hollywood hairdresser who created the Farrah haircut. (No, he did not cut my hair.)

And what can one say about Ed McMahon that hasn't been said already? I have nothing to add, other than to say I was sorry to hear about all the apparent difficulties he had to endure later in life. And now, yet another legend is gone.

Bumper Sticker

Saw one the other day; this isn't exactly the one I saw, but the general idea is the same.



Want one of your own? Go here.

(No, I am not the one selling them, and it's not a friend of mine either.)

That Does It.

I am officially an old fart.

Why? Well, because I just got a long e-mail from my supervisor, wherein she reminded people that it is not acceptable to just not show up for work on any given day.

Back in my day, practicing personal responsibility was called being a grown-up.

It's not the first time I've seen this sort of thing from management, but it still absolutely floors me that people have to be TOLD to keep their commitments. You accepted the job, you show up. Period. And if you are sick or somehow unavoidably detained, you CALL IN.

And here I was feeling guilty because the other night I wasn't feeling well, and I sent my supervisor an e-mail at 4 a.m. telling her I was shutting off the alarm clock because I was not feeling well. As it turned out, I was only about an hour late signing on for my shift. But it never would have occurred to me NOT to let someone know I was going to be late.

Yep. I'm an old fart.

Charming.

And about bloody time. Better late than never? No. Too little, too late. Sheesh.

For No Reason Other Than I Felt Like It

It's well over 4 years since I posted P. J. O'Rourke's magnificent rant from "Holidays in Hell."

And since it is truly NSFW (that's not safe for work, for all you flatlanders), I am putting it below the fold. Enjoy!

Click here to read the rest, if you dare!

R, You There?

No, that's not an obnoxious text-message or Twitter abbreviation. I'm talking about an old school acquaintance whose first name starts with an R, with whom I briefly connected on Facebook the other week. R, if you're reading this (and I hope you are) I intended to answer your last message--but then you vanished. Was it something I said??

I wanted to ask you about the novel you're writing, and other things.... E-mail me. The address is right over there in the sidebar. ---> Or call me. I'm in the book.

Snibbles 'N' Bits

Got a call from the new guy, i.e. the guy taking over from the old guy at the brokerage office I do business with. I have an appointment with him next week for a portfolio review. I told him I hadn't looked at a statement since before the election last year because I really did not want to know how low my portfolio had sunk. (After all, what could I do about it that I hadn't already done, i.e. vote against the people who helped sink the economy? And we all know how much good THAT did me.) He ran some quick numbers and told me that while on average, people had lost nearly half the value of their portfolios, mine had only gone down by about 10 percent. Good news, then.

Completely unrelated to this, in the course of having the TV cable redone last week, I decided that since everything in back had to be unhooked and reconnected anyway, this would be a good time to redo all the various power strips and surge protectors.

So now, only the things that have to stay on all the time (the lizard lights and fountain pumps) are plugged into a power strip that stays turned on.

Everything else--TV, VCRs, DVD players, cable box--is plugged into a strip that gets turned off except when one of the above toys is in use. And since about 99 percent of my TV watching happens in the bedroom, the living room arrangement will stay turned off 99 percent of time time.

I should know within a few months whether those TV commercials that tell you to do this sort of thing to save power are actually onto something.... Has anyone had experience with this? Are you saving any money?

Heeeere, Spammer-Spammer-Spammer!

transccare@yahoo.com


There you go, spam-bots. Harvest away. Send him some "enhancement vitamin" advertisements. He probably needs them.

(This was someone who had the nerve to more or less offer to take away my job by undercutting my employer, on a professional bulletin board. This response was suggested by one of the several others he tried the same scam with.)

Oh Frabjous Joy!

There is some good news happening in this economy.

As we all know... TV has entered the digital age, as of today.

Both of my TVs have digital tuners, so I wasn't too worried. And then I saw the ads for digital cable service plus On-Demand, for only $29.99 a month for the first year. And after that, the monthly price is less than what I've been paying up until now. Go figure.

So a couple of weeks ago I made the appointment online to get converted to digital cable. I was told that if I wanted to use the second TV for anything other than a giant doorstop, I would of course need a second cable box, which was going to cost an extra X number of dollars per month. So I said okay, since the price was still going to be far less than I've been paying.

The installer was running behind, and showed up actually several hours late yesterday; but it was okay because I was home anyway, and didn't have any reason I needed to leave the house. But he had very good news; he would installing the main cable box with the on-demand features on whichever TV I wanted (I chose the living room, since that's the bigger screen), but he had a basic converter box that he would install on the bedroom TV--and this box was NOT going to cost any extra per month.

And then he absolutely made my day. He told me the Sci-Fi Channel is now included in my lineup.

I still don't know my exact channel lineup; the listings they have online are a bit outdated (I expect with the digital conversion going on, they've had better things to do than update their online channel listings). I guess I'll have to sit down and manually scroll through all the channels and write down what comes up. I have more channels than "basic" but fewer than "premium."

But the Sci-Fi Channel!! Yowza! According to what's published online, I'd have to go several levels of service above what I am actually getting to get that channel included in my lineup. As I said... obviously the lineup has changed since they published that information....

UPDATE: Faithful reader Bum e-mailed to give me info on finding my channel lineup at IMDB. Yes, they do have the channel lineup... and it lists every single channel available if you buy every single thing they have available to sell you. The channels I get are tucked in amongst them, somewhere.

So thanks, Bum, appreciate the effort... but I'm going to have to resort to the old-fashioned method of writing down the actual channels that show up on my TV. Oh well.

Dear Neighbor:

I don't think your computer can hear you when you scream, "NO! NO! NO! NO!" at it.

Come to think of it, I don't think the people in Outer Mongolia can hear you either.

Effective Advertising

Ask any marketing maven and they will tell you that any advertisement that sticks with the listener/viewer is an effective one. (Whether it sticks in a positive or negative way is another matter.)

For no reason at all, I just thought of a radio advertisement for the Yellow Pages from, oh, decades ago, give or take a century. Among other vignettes, a woman with an obvious sinus problem was heard to say, "I have a terrible cold." Man's voice: "Use the yellow pages and--" Woman's voice: "Couldn't I just try to find a tissue somewhere?" Cue the jingle singers: "Stick your nose in the book, don't you leap 'till you look, in the Yellow Pages."

See? Effective advertising. Not that I've ever used the yellow pages for a cold, mind you....