Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Heroes for Bush

The Bear is soliciting contributions to a blogburst wherein fictional heroes endorse Bush for president.

Okay. :)






src="http://www.geocities.com/crankybeach/photos/MalReynolds23.jpg"
width="167" height="286">
Malcolm Reynolds here, captain of
Serenity. I fought and lost a war against unification of
all the planets into the Alliance. Now I hear this duh
liou mahng John Kerry thinks some outfit called the
United Nations can do a better job of defending freedom
on the homeworld than the United States. He's wrong. I
left the Alliance because of people like him.



Now I live on the frontier, minding my own business and
trying to fly under the Alliance radar. I have no home
but Serenity, but I'm still free, and they can't take the
sky from me. I believe in freedom, and so does George W.
Bush. Don't let that hwoon dahn John Kerry take the sky
from you. Vote for Bush.



That's all for now. Serenity out.

UPDATE: Jayne has also endorsed Bush.

Waiting to hear from the rest of the Serenity crew.....


Ministry of Silly Walks

Thanks to Aaron for an apt comparison.


Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Moving Day, Pouring Rain

Ith and Nin are moving today--and it's pouring rain. Virtual tea and sympathy to them.

And in the spirit of the (soggy) Nin, a work quote:

"Was it a big puke?"

This overheard as I walked by a co-worker's office. She was on the phone.

I don't want to know.


The Worst One Yet

Juliette has posted a link to a picture that looks like an evil alien from a bad sci-fi show.

And check out the kids in the background. They cannot believe what they are seeing. Neither can I. And consider this--the kids can't even see his face! Are we sure this picture hasn't been Photoshopped?


Monday, October 18, 2004

For Once...

... a truthful candidate photo. :)

(Hat tip: Best of the Web)


Yet Another Photo...

... that I do not want explained to me.

What is it with these sports photo-ops on the tarmac, anyway?


Well, this one will certainly be all over the blogosphere within 30 seconds....

ABC News Primetime Live has learned that Republicans are more satisfied with their sex lives than Democrats, by a satisfyingly wide margin.

Looks like we Republicans are doing our patriotic part to bring America ahead of the French.

Brings new meaning to the lyric "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy," methinks.


Explain This?

Via The Bear, Joss Whedon is supporting the Kedwards ticket.

Whedon is perhaps best known for creating "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," but he also created "Firefly," a superb but short-lived spacegoing western set 500 years in the future.

This is where I get confused. The "Firefly" characters were rugged individualists, just trying to go about their business and escape the notice of the centralized big government bureaucracy.

Sounds like a perfect bunch of Republicans to me!


Saturday, October 16, 2004

Polls, Shmolls

This reminds me of the definition of "is."

The Bear, Hindrocket at Powerline, Martin on the patio and Pejman all cite the latest Newsweek poll that has the candidates in a "dead heat," too close to call, with 48 percent of "all" voters preferring Bush to Kerry's 46 percent, and if they throw Nader's 1 percent over to Kerry, the difference becomes statistically insignificant.

It's not until the third paragraph (how many people actually read that far down?) that they admit among "likely" voters, the numbers are 50 percent Bush, 44 percent Kerry, 1 percent Nader.

Only in the lame-stream press is a 6-point lead a "dead heat." They do not mention the margin of error, but no poll I have ever seen had a 6-point margin of error. Only a poll where the difference lies within the margin of error can be "too close to call."

A dead heat? They wish.

Final thought: Until 2004, close only counted in horseshoes and hand grenades. Now, apparently, it counts when you're the political party that has an army of lawyers poised to challenge any result that's within the polling margin of error. Do you suppose they'll challenge if they WIN with a result within the margin of error? I'll give you 3 guesses, and the first 2 don't count.

Sunday update: The official Bush-Cheney campaign blog has a weekend pool round-up. All polls are of likely voters, all were taken between 10-13 and 10-16, and when averaged together, Bush has a 4 point lead.

So there. :)


Noooooo!

Via Aaron, a very scary news story:

Scientist Teaching Bacteria to Eat Coffee Plant's Caffeine
Thu Oct 14, 1:15 PM ET
By Jeff Coelho

NEW YORK (Reuters) - In what could be a page taken from a science fiction novel, a scientist in his laboratory is trying to teach bacteria how to devour and destroy the caffeine contained in a coffee plant.

If successful, which the scientist says is probably years away, the experiment may yield a naturally decaffeinated brew that could have a richer and deeper taste than the decaf fare currently available.


Just one question. What is the point of coffee if there's no caffeine in it?

Time for another cup.



Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics

Rusty at The Jawa Report has a lengthy post analyzing John Kerry's claim that Bush is the first president in 72 years to preside over a job-loss economy.

The result? Big surprise. John Kerry is lying through his teeth again.

(Hat tip: Kevin McGehee via Wizbang.)


Friday, October 15, 2004

Friday Round-Up

Brian at Peeve Farm explains why he will vote for Bush:

I guess I'm a three-issue voter, because this election, I want the outcome to do the following three things:

1. Empower our military psychologically by making them feel that a mandate from the American people is firmly behind them

2. Spite Michael Moore, all his Hollywood toadies and college-age sycophants, and France

3. Make the terrorists crap themselves on November 3, not dance around whooping and firing into the air in celebration

I have a hard time seeing how electing John Kerry would make any of these things happen, or how electing Bush would do anything but. Yet very little else matters to me right about now.


(Hat tip: Cold Fury)

Emperor Darth Misha I explains his own voting philosophy. Here's just a small sample:
What it comes down to isn't how many things Dubya have handled pitifully badly, but what the alternative is. And there IS only one alternative. Staying home or voting for the United Conservative Party of Kicking A** and Not Bothering to Stop and Take Names In the Process, however laudable their goals and program, will only help F***face into the White House.

Now, I'm as pissed off as the next Emperor (of which there are none, but that's beside the point) about Dubya p*ssing on the base that got him elected in the first place, and I would like nothing more than to teach him a valuable lesson by sending him packing, if it wasn't for the fact that the alternative is a total f***ing disaster.

Just think about it. If you stay at home or vote "Mickey Mouse" on the 2nd, you'll be helping a piece of sh*t into the White House who has publically proclaimed that he intends to surrender. Oh sure, he has a "plan", a plan that is obviously either non-existent (most likely) or too complicated and "nuanced" for us mere mortals to understand, so he won't tell us about it.


[Sanitization mine]

You can read the whole thing here.

And lastly... for my friend (who shall remain nameless) who didn't know about the photo of John Kerry on display in the museum in Vietnam, and wonders why the Republicans aren't trumpeting this nationwide:
On Memorial Day, May 31, 2004, Vietnam Vets for the Truth broke an extraordinary story about a photograph hanging in the Vietnamese Communist War Remnants Museum (formerly known as the "War Crimes Museum") in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon). The photograph, displayed in a room dedicated to foreign activists who contributed to the Communist victory over America in the Vietnam War, shows Senator John Kerry being greeted by Comrade Do Muoi, General Secretary of the Communist Party of Vietnam.


This information can be found here.



Scary Stuff

Did y'all hear the lady from Arizona on Rush who was an alleged undecided voter, until she saw the third debate? She decided to vote for Kerry because even though both Bush and Kerry gave unsatisfactory answers on immigration (Bush answered the question, sort of, but Kerry dodged it altogether and answered something else), and though she thinks Kerry doesn't understand the immigration problem because he's not from a border state... Kerry looked presidential and spoke well.

Style trumps substance yet again.



Thursday, October 14, 2004

Political Satire At Its Finest

The inimitable P.J. O'Rourke weighs in with some things the president should have said in last night's debate. (Hat tip: Dog Snot Diaries via Mad Mikey.)

Just a couple of P.J.'s points to whet your appetite:

(4) Speaking of jobs, Senator, how come every illegal immigrant who wades the Rio is able to find one in about 10 minutes? Meanwhile, your Democratic core constituency has been unemployed for years. Are your supporters lazy, Senator Kerry? Or are they stupid? Back when Clinton was president, did your supporters think they got their jobs at Burger King because Bill was sleeping with the cow?

(13) You say you're going to get our friends and allies to take a bigger role in Iraq. Senator Kerry, what friends and allies? You're a sophisticated fellow. You're well-traveled and speak French. Are there some countries out there that you know about and the rest of us have never heard of?

(14) Let me tell you something, Senator Kerry. I don't blame the U.N. for not supporting me in Iraq. The world is full of loathsome governments run by criminals, thugs, and beasts. When I mentioned "regime-change," hairy little ears pricked up all over the earth. Beads of sweat broke out on low, sloping brows. Blood-stained, grasping hands began to tremble. I had to put poor Colin Powell on the phone to various hyenas in high office and have him explain that America itself needed regime-change from 1992 to 2000. And we didn't bomb the fellow responsible, and we only impeached him a little. Secretary Powell had to tell Kim Jung Il, Robert Mugabe, and Jacques Chirac to quit worrying and look at Bill Clinton and realize the fate that awaits them is a lucrative lecture tour, a best-selling book, and many willing, plump young women.


Go read the whole thing here.


Outrageous!

Are we going to let the French beat us?

My fellow Americans... now is the time. Stand up --er, lie down-- and be counted! Do your part to make America number one in the world! Our national honor is at stake!


Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Code Words

Frank J has an intriguing list of "code words" to help people decipher what will be said in tonight's debate.

I just hope he doesn't decide to turn the list into a drinking game. There's not enough liquor in the world to cover that!

I added my own favorite in the comments. Bipartisan really means the Republicans rolled over and did what the Democrats wanted.


Edjification

Right Thinking Girl tells about how some schools are turning to graphic novels and comic books in an effort to engage reluctant readers.

Reminds me of an incident years ago when a fellow of my acquaintance defended his alleged lack of intellectual capacity:

"Hey, I read a book last year!"

... wait for it ...

"And it was one of those BIG comic books, too!"


Miscellanea

Edwonk has named me to the teaching faculty over at The Education Wonks. No playing tricks on the substitute teacher, now!

Local friend Joan got to shake Aaahhhhhhnold's hand yesterday. He was in town at a rally supporting the Republican state senate candidate. Joan let me touch her hand. Woo-hoo! I didn't get to go because I am still trying to be 2 people at work, and I don't clone easily.

And I am now clear up to an adorable little rodent in the TTLB ecosystem, ranked #2191. And that and 50 cents will get me tomorrow's newspaper. (I think joining the Bear Flag League has helped with that. Go Bears!)

Time for more coffee, methinks!


Tuesday, October 12, 2004

And It Gets Worse

Right Thinking Girl has posted a photo that I really do not want explained to me.


I'm Shocked. Shocked.

Medical experts have announced that coffee causes caffeine addiction.

Say it ain't so!

Experts advise a gradual withdrawl from caffeine to avoid the usual withdrawal symptoms.

They never mention, however, why anyone would want to give up caffeine!

But you can't fool the Cranky Beach. They are now saying that caffeine withdrawal should be a real medical diagnosis.

Can invocation of the Americans with Disabilities Act be far behind? Will somebody pay me not to drink coffee? Who can I sue for the headache? Hallelujah, I'm a victim!

Show me the money, or I'll keep using!

Time for another cup of coffee, methinks.

(Hat tip: Best of the Web)


Yep, He Really Said It

I just heard it for the second time, played on the radio. John Edwards was campaigning in Iowa yesterday, October 11, and said this:

When John Kerry is president, people like Christopher Reeve are going to get up out of that wheelchair and walk again.


Charles Krauthammer, Pulitzer prize winner, physician, and also a wheelchair-bound quadriplegic, said this in reply on Special Report with Brit Hume:
...the worst demagoguery I've heard in Washington in a quarter century.


NRO has more.


News Of The Day

Ith shares a news story of deep political import.

And CrankyBeach, in her inimitable fashion, has weighed in with her own deep insightful commentary thereupon.


Monday, October 11, 2004

I'm an Eowyn Voter!

Okay, so I'm a bit late to the party on this one, but I think I can be forgiven, since my blog is only 8 days old.

For those not in the know, Katie explains what an Eowyn voter is.


Definitions

Katie explains what is, and is not, a nuisance:

Things that are nuisances on the subway:
Rats, panhandlers, people who have not bathed recently

Things that are not nuisances on the subway:
Poison gas, biological agents, suicide bombers

I hope that clears things up.


Update: Via Ith, Eric at the Fire Ant Gazette brings us the John Kerry Nuisance Level Alert System.


Bloody Scary...

I'm helping a relative deal with some recent medical bills, trying to reconcile the hospital statements with the explanations of benefits from the insurance company.

It is not a pretty sight.

For instance... the "prior charges" dated 7-15-04? They tell me it was for an emergency room visit. But the ER visit was only $182.40, not the $312.40 on the statement. And their computer cannot tell me where the other $130.00 came from.

Same with a "pharmacy" bill for 8-31-04, for $2422.55. You cannot tell me that a patient used up $2422.55 worth of pills in a 5-day hospital inpatient stay. That would be an average of $484.51 worth of pills per day. Even at an outrageous, say, 3 bucks a pill, that would be over 160 pills a day! I know for a fact the patient was not swallowing THAT many pills!

The account person at the hospital needs to consult somebody else and find out what that $2422.55 is for, because they're "working on" getting the computer system to spit out an itemization.

Now this is downright scary. I am a medical biller by trade, with nearly 30 years of experience. And I cannot figure out these bills. I can only imagine how hard it is for patients who do NOT do this for a living!

Remember, we're professionals. Don't try this at home!


My young co-worker just made a Starbucks run and brought me back a double latte. Not quite heaven in a cup... but close. Too bad my favorite coffee doesn't have a store any closer than San Francisco.... Grrrr. Even I, dedicated coffee hound, will not drive 120 miles for a latte, so Starbucks it must be!


Sunday, October 10, 2004

More Mandatory Reading

Local friend Bill has pointed me to a fabulous op-ed by David Brooks from Saturday's New York Times, about the Duelfer report. (Sorry; registration is required. Can't get around it.)

Here's a taste:

Duelfer makes clear on the very first page of his report that it is a story. It is a mistake and a distortion, he writes, to pick out a single frame of the movie and isolate it from the rest of the tale.

But that is exactly what has happened. I have never in my life seen a government report so distorted by partisan passions. The fact that Saddam had no W.M.D. in 2001 has been amply reported, but it's been isolated from the more important and complicated fact of Saddam's nature and intent.

But we know where things were headed. Sanctions would have been lifted. Saddam, rich, triumphant and unbalanced, would have reconstituted his W.M.D. Perhaps he would have joined a nuclear arms race with Iran. Perhaps he would have left it all to his pathological heir Qusay.

We can argue about what would have been the best way to depose Saddam, but this report makes it crystal clear that this insatiable tyrant needed to be deposed. He was the menace, and, as the world dithered, he was winning his struggle. He was on the verge of greatness. We would all now be living in his nightmare.


Go read the whole thing. It's well worth it.


Worth Reading

Orson Scott Card weighs in on Iraq in an essay at The Ornery American. (Hmm... I should get to know those ornery folks. They sound like my kind of people.)

Just to whet your appetite:

What is Edwards promising us? That Kerry will always make the right choice?

Well, actually, Kerry almost certainly will make the right decision on every issue. After all, if you take every possible position on every question, one of them is bound to be right.

The trouble is that the real President can't vacillate. He can't send troops in and at the same time not send them. He can't go with one plan and at the same time go with another. The President has to commit, and then work with the consequences.

Senator Kerry has never had to do that. Neither has Senator Edwards.

It's easy to say, "I would have done it better."

But in all their attack rhetoric, have you ever heard them say exactly what they would have done differently?


Read the whole thing here.

CrankyBeach hath spoken. Go forth and obey!

(Hat tip: Little Green Footballs)


Saturday, October 9, 2004

Woo-Hoo Redux

And overnight, I climbed from Slimy Mollusk to Flippery Fish, #7208.

A great way, methinks, to celebrate my one-week blogiversary.

This calls for a cup of coffee. :)


Woo-Hoo!

In less than a week on the air, I have jumped over 4 --count 'em, 4-- life-forms in the TTLB Ecosystem. Only 2 days ago I was an Insignificant Microbe; now I'm a Slimy Mollusk, rated #8232 out of 15706. Zowie!

(For those who keep track of such things, the categories I jumped over include Multicellular Microorganisms, Wiggly Worms, Crunchy Crustaceans, and Lowly Insects.)


Saturday Fun

Well... today was going to be shovel-out-the-house day... but I just got a phone call, and now it's going to be go-ice-skating-with-Kathy day.

Expect bruises. I skate about as well as Humpty Dumpty. (Can he skate?)


Carnival of the Pajamas

It has been suggested that I submit a photo of myself in my favorite blogging attire to the Carnival of the Pajamas at Bad Example.

Okay. :)




CrankyBeach, wearing her favorite comfy "Scribbling Woman" tank-top, which has indeed been slept in, thus qualifying as pajamas.


Friday, October 8, 2004

I Confess...

... I slept about halfway through tonight's debate. I turned it on, closed my eyes, and that was it. So you'll have to go elsewhere if you want brilliant commentary on tonight's show.


Drat...

... my graphics have all disappeared. Out of courtesy to Ith I parked them on a separate server so I won't blow out her walls if I upload something big... and that site seems to be inaccessible right now.

So much for good intentions. No good deed goes unpunished, it seems!

Update: I uploaded a couple of the graphics to a different server, so I've got my flag background back... but the other graphic is on my 'pooter at work, so will have to wait until the first of the week to get that one back. Seems the ISP that hosts my personal website (where I originally stashed the graphics) is moving things to a new server and it's taking much longer than they thought it would...

Oh well. As I always say, it's a wonder any of this stuff works at all! :)


Ah, Youth

My 22 year old co-worker went out last night for a friend's 21st birthday "initiation." You guessed it. She drank about 5 Long Island Iced Teas and came in this morning looking like the Mythbusters' poor crash test dummy after a difficult stunt.

She went home early.

Was I ever that young? Were you?


Flu Shots

Via Rachel, a suggestion about how to handle the flu vaccine shortage:

Flu shot shortage
If you won't likely die as a result of catching the flu, then would ya back off and let the elderly and sick people have the vaccine? Please? Every dose given to someone like me is a dose that can't be given to someone like my Grandma. Let's be reasonable here.


What do you think?




Thursday, October 7, 2004

Books & Things

Kerry's new book Resilience is out. (No, not THAT Kerry! I'm talking about my best friend Kerry Barkley!) I read this book in rough draft a long time ago. I'm looking forward to reading the finished product.

This sounds like an interesting book. Might explain a lot of things.

(Hat tip: Right Thinking Girl)

Lynna Banning's next book The Wedding Cake War will be out in a month.

And the ubiquitous Clive Cussler has yet another new one out.

Now, if only Lois McMaster Bujold would come up with another book about Miles Vorkosigan, the world would be a better place!

So many books, so little time!

Update: Jema asks if there is a new Miles story in the works. Hey, I wish I knew! But a nearly complete list of Miles' adventures can be found here. The only thing missing is Winterfair Gifts, a novella appearing in Irresistible Forces.


Need Help Deciding?

Who says Americans are not helpful folk? The folks at KFIV radio have put together this page to assist undecided voters.


Another Take

Okay, so I'm a bit behind with some posting (besides, this blog is less than a week old)... but Jeff over at MyJokeMail (Caution! Plenty of off-color material there!) had a great take on October 1 on the first Bush-Kerry debate:

Here is my quick impersonation of both candidates, if I can sum up the entire 90 minute debate in two quick exchanges.

Moderator: So Senator Kerry, how would you propose we handle the war in Iraq different?

Kerry: Well Jim, I would have done the exact same as Bush did by going into Iraq....but I would do it different. And I would win the war quickly, establish peace, and develop a strong coalition of all nations.

Moderator: Mr President, you may respond.

Bush: Look, I don't like war anymore than you do, America, but I believe it's the right thing to do. We must remain strong and establish our objective no matter what.

You see, Bush is convinced to do what he feels is right for the American people even if it comes off the wrong way to some, and I'm sorry, but to me, Kerry comes off like a guy who wants to say whatever it takes to win brownie points with the American people. Bush could give a sh*t about Brownie points. Hell, I laugh at all these people who say, "Bush only went to war in Iraq for political gain." Political gain? Are you f***ing crazy?! Think about that. This war has done nothing but hurt the President, why in the name of blue horsesh*t would he continue fighting a war that has hurt him politically? It's because whether you agree or not, he believes that what he is doing is right for America. In my opinion, that says more than a guy who really doesn't know what he wants, or what direction we're going to be taken in.


[Emphasis and sanitization mine]


A Big Thank-You...

... to Kathy for fixing a few formatting problems in the "comments" sections (as well as setting up the blog in the first place). Need help with your website? She can do it.


Wednesday, October 6, 2004

For Your Amusement

Just to show that we Pajamadeen are more than a bunch of wild-eyed, flannel-clad fire-breathing fanatics... let's have some fun.

Ever wonder if your cat is doing drugs?

And in the spirit of the upcoming season...

THE TOP 10 THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY ON HALLOWEEN BUT AREN'T


10. She's a goblin!
9. I'd like to get a little something in the sack tonight.
8. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
7. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.
6. If you just lick it, it will last longer.
5. Let me see your big sack.
4. Can I eat your zagnuts?
3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth.
2. You scared me stiff!
And the dirtiest sounding but not-dirty Halloween saying is...
1. He's got candy spread out on the living room floor!


Debate, Shmebate

The first Tuesday of the month being the usual meeting time of the Left Coast chapter of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, I did not watch the debate. Co-conspirators Ith and Nin did not watch it either; they were too busy cooking up trouble with the rest of us. So I have had to rely on others for the round-up.

My favorite quote so far comes via Michelle Malkin:

"A dog yapping at a grown-up's heels." That's how Morton Kondracke described John Edwards' performance against Vice President Cheney tonight. I concur.


You can read her entire round-up here. It's well worth your time. In my not-so-humble opinion.

Update: Michele has a take that will make you spray your screen and keyboard, so put down your beverage before reading!


Tuesday, October 5, 2004

Possible Blog Logo

I was looking around for a graphic of a cup of coffee, in keeping with my coffee-flavored theme... and found one that will go with that, but also with Ith's domain (she who is kind enough to host my new playground):



What do y'all think? I'm not too fond of that color of green, so if I "borrow" this and use it, I will change the color to something else....


Disenfranchised

There's not much point in my voting 4 weeks from today.

Why? I live in California. It's not even in play. My vote will not count.

But I will do my civic duty nonetheless, and go to the polls like a good girl.


Monday, October 4, 2004

Just When You Think You've Seen Everything...

... they re-define "everything."

Don't believe me? Take a look at this.


Too Much Information

If there's an explanation for this, I don't want to hear it.


Sunday, October 3, 2004

Ah-HAH!

People want to know (well, some people anyway) why I am CrankyBeach.

Well... now science has proven that we cranky types make more reliable eyewitnesses, show better critical thinking skills, and exercise superior thinking and communication skills.

In one experiment, researchers at the Sydney-based University of New South Wales school of psychology put different subjects in a positive (happy) or negative (sad) mood state and tested the accuracy of their recall of a staged eyewitness event such as a bag snatch.

"The results showed that eyewitness accounts of people in a negative mood are more likely to be accurate compared to those in a positive mood state," says Professor Forgas.

"It shows that our recollection of past events are more likely to be contaminated by irrelevant information when we are in a positive mood. A positive mood is likely to trigger less careful thinking strategies."

In a second experiment, researchers put different subjects in a positive or negative mood state and asked them to write down an argument in favour of a particular proposition.

When their arguments were analysed for their quality and persuasiveness, subjects in a negative mood were shown to be far more effective in their critical thinking and communication skills.

You can read the entire article here.

(Then go read Ith's blog if you haven't already.)




CrankyBeach Is In The Building

Yes, CrankyBeach really does have a blog of her very own, now... thanks to Ith. (Go read her blog if you don't already make a habit of it.)

There will be more later.

And for those who might be keeping score... that is both a threat AND a promise!

No, I am NOT wearing pajamas! Not at this moment, anyway....

Don't worry about the boring look of the page. I will make it much prettier. Real Soon Now. Honest.



 
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